An antidote to rejection

I recently had the (re)experience of rejection as an artist, and dang did it cut to the core. 

And the thing is, it wasn’t even a rejection for something that I was really hinging everything on—but there still was so much wrapped up in the potentiality of the possible acceptance. 

I found myself, after receiving the news, feeling my feelings, letting them flow through as I literally curled up in a ball on the floor and cried. I cried because even though I could tell myself that the rejection was’t “that big of a deal,” and that I could objectively see “weaknesses” in my submission, it still stung. And it brought right back to the surface all of the insecurities that have plagued me on my particular artistic journey—that, because I didn’t attend art school, I’m not a “real” artist; that I’m “lazy” for waiting until the last minute to work on my submission and thus will never be able to achieve anything; and, somewhat paradoxically, at the same time, no matter how much time, focus and heart I put into this work, I’ll never “succeed in making it as an artist,” because resources to do so are just too scant. 

Which…ok, as with all fears and insecurities, there are grains of truth to these. And also, the system of extraction and power over feeds off of these fears and insecurities—and actually every rejection can be a nice little ding in their favor if we let it. 

Which isn’t to say to not feel the rejection and its sting. Because we know as artists that rejection isn’t just about our project or proposal being passed on—it can feel like a knife right to the center of your heart, your artistic being, and every knife has the potential to cut it out, stomp on it and leave it to crumble away into a cloud of dust. 

So…what are we to do as artists? Yes, we can stubbornly keep going, once the tears are dried and we can tell ourselves, as I did, over and over that “I won’t give up,” until we believe it. Maybe you are one of those folks who, in the face of rejection, roars back even stronger with more determination and unstoppable power than ever. Fabulous! I wish we could all be that self assured! I think it is more likely, however, that you find yourself retreating, dimming that light a little more, because, after all, you very courageously shared your brightness, your beautiful vision in a very vulnerable way and to have that be pushed aside and told that it wasn’t “good enough,”...well, that hurts. And us dimming our lights and giving up, that’s superb news for those who want us broken and cut off from our power. 

I don’t want that for you. I don’t want that for any of us. I want you to feel as though you are supported in shining as your brightest self, sharing your genius creativity with the world, because it is medicine and more than ever, we need it NOW. 

The system also flourishes on the lie that we must do it on our own. That we should be ashamed of our failures, and keep them hidden as dirty little secrets and never let anyone know how deeply they cut. Maybe you feel this shame—and as though you can’t trust yourself to share because this is “proof” that you can’t trust others. And that lack of trust in ourselves, and in others, is bank to those in power.

It keeps us isolated, disconnected, and ripe for filling us with whatever other desire or thing they want to offer as an alternative to that emptiness.

It doesn’t need to be this way. 

So even though the “limited resources” we are led to believe equate to fierce competition amongst artists, we can choose a different path—one in which we support and encourage one another through both rejection AND acceptance. Because I want to see ALL of us succeed and if we limit success to the markers of these limited opportunities then we’re not doing our jobs as the creative fire in our society. 

So let’s work together to support one another in creating more opportunities for collaboration and encouragement, allowing for the full humxn experience of both rejection and success. And no matter what, never give up—which is wayyyy easier to do when you know you aren’t alone. 

Looking for a place to do just that? One such opportunity I’m offering is for those interested in connecting with other artists to support one another in our creative journeys. Join the Artist Support Group, a weekly virtual drop in gathering from 5-6 pm PST on Tuesdays to be part of it. Learn more and register for this week’s gathering here. 

And whether or not we connect at the Artist Support Group, know that I believe in you and your creative vision! 

Sending much love and blessings.

Xo, 

Holly